I was posting a reply to a reply to a comment I made on a lovely woman's LJ from my email just now.  Before it would post to her LJ from the email, it gave me a task I had to complete under the heading "Please Confirm You Are Human."

There was a serious moment's pause before undertaking the task (typing out some words that appear in an odd font, you know the drill) during which I thought to myself, "My G-d, is this the only real litmus of our existence?  I think I've been away from shul for too long..."

This afternoon I had my first meeting with the department staff and the rest of my MFA class.  There was a lot of information given in a fairly short time, and frankly most of it flew through my head.  However several points stood out that they labored to make clear:

We've got to bring commitment, honesty, and a constant beginner's mind to the process.  We need to celebrate the successes of our classmates and leave the personal drama where it belongs (outside.)  I was reminded a great deal of the importance of respecting laws of l'ashon hara.  We're ten people who will be working extremely closely with each other at an emotionally grueling task for the next two years.  The smallest cuts can fester and murder us, can poison the safety of our process, can wound and be pained for a long time.  I think I'm going to try and give a little spiel on Lashon Hara to my classmates as well as the power of attitude and it's contagious quality.  I can think of one of the folks in the program whose consistent surliness is already proving to be somewhat of a barrier to open work, and we haven't even started classes yet!  But, they're a friend of mine, and I'm sure this isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, so patience is required.  

The facilities look impressive for a college, about the same level of space and quality as I found at UW-Milwaukee, only I may actually get to use them with somewhat more regularity.  In fact, I can nearly guarantee that I will.  The Performing Arts and Humanities complex of three buildings is labyrinthine with gray concrete halls suddenly giving way to very large open spaces.  You can see that the buildings have been recently still works in progress ( a small flight of stairs at the end of one office corridor that leads directly into a brick wall, for example, or the hallway they closed with cinder blocks and cement but never finished painting in order to...I don't know what for, but it looks like the type of wall you would shoot enemies of the state against.)  There is a lot of construction going on on campus, several new buildings being thrown up, and I've been told that each incoming class has been consistently much larger then the previous one.  This is a young school, a growing school, and a school with a peculiar momentum that so far I'm finding pleasing. 

I'm running late for wine and cheese, so I'll wrap this up.  My initial impressions, both of faculty, facility and my class, are positive.  Yes, I certainly have some fears about how well we're all going to meld together, there are some very divergent personalities here and I already feel a bit like the elder statesman of the group.  However, there are also already at least two or three people in the class that I feel an almost instant kinship with and artistic sympathy for.  The next step will be figuring how to keep myself open and engaged with those I can't so easily figure out.  

Perhaps the wine will help. 

Have I mentioned my downstairs neighbor, Jason, who spends a great deal of time sitting on the front steps smoking?  Ever present and tucked into his glasses is a pot one hitter.  He has recently grown in a scraggly goatee.  The day I moved in he reminded me that if I needed anything or just wanted to hang he was in apartment 102. 

About three times. 

So, consider him mentioned. 

For those of you who have not spent time in Southern Florida, it is likely you haven't seen hordes of Northern Curly Tailed Lizards running about as you walk down the sidewalk, scampering into the underbrush like wee mammals from a casually passing dinosaur in Jurassic Park.  Around my apartment they are ubiquitous.  Anytime I go walking out, particularly down the rear stairs and towards where I keep my moped, I will see them scurrying about like mad.  I confess, being a bit of fan of scaly things, that I find them rather cute and endearing.  Also, being from the Midwest I have a deep appreciation for bats.  That didn't make sense, perhaps.  See, mosquitoes are vile.  Bats eat mosquitoes and other nuisance bugs, while usually leaving me alone.  NCTL's eat bugs, as well, though there aren't many mosquitoes down here owing to...something scientific I'm not really certain about...but there are a great many other vile insects about.  The NCTL's eat them, and thus they don't infest my apartment. 

Wondering what one is?  See here.  Yeah, they're invasive, so, that's a downside.  

One of their more disturbing defense mechanisms is dropping off their enormous tail, which then thrashes around on the ground a great deal under it's own autonomic power, and gives the predator something other than the rest of their body to eat.  They can then regrow the tail over time.  Because their tail is massive, curled upwards, and perched as the first accessible thing on their body from a sky view, it's a very effective defense.  Disturbing, though, still effective.  

This morning I discovered as I wandered out to my bike, preparing to rummage through a pawn shop for a cheap TV, that one particularly large NCTL had taken up residence in the shady shelter of my front tire.  Apparently its inability to regulate its own body temperature had allowed it to get too hot and so now it needed shade the poor thing.  I hopped on my bike and started the motor, noticed something the size of a chipmunk dash at amazing speeds into the underbrush at the edge of the lot, and then realized something else was still on the ground.  A tail, more particularly a curly tail, about the thickness of a finger, and probably five inches long.  Flopping.  Madly.  Really flopping madly.  Without any body attached to it.  On the ground.  I paused for a moment, suppressed an instinct towards nausea and tried instead to wonder at the diversity of nature.  And I threw up a little in the back of my mouth.  Simultaneous with my mild discomfort a very large bird of some sort casually swooped down from the tree above the spot I had been in, and landed near the thrashing tail.  It's head bobbed down, raised back up with (still, creepily, wriggling) bit in mouth and flew back to it's tree.   

Incidentally, the tree said bird went to has a spider residing in it that looks like something out of a fantasy novel.  It's about the size of my hand and has a series of webs which, I think, would completely ensnare me should I blindly stumble into them on the amble back from a bar.  If no one hears for me for a few days, call John Goodman.  

You know, because of Arachnophobia? 

 I shall start out my posts from Boca Raton and grad school by pasting in an email response to the question of "How's the new place?" that Ila asked me. 

Why?  Because it's too damn hot and I'm too damned sober to be original right now. :)


( How do you like the place, David? )

I live on the other side of the country now.  Haven't looked here in ages, but thought, what the hell....maybe time to return.

Anyone still read this thing?

The only really good thing to happen to me in the last month or two I suppose is that I had it confirmed yesterday I'll soon be making nearly $1200/mo gross within a few days (possibly more if tips go well.)   

Yeah, that's good news, you read that right.  

However, all the options this was possibly opening up to me as far as moving out asafp have dried up,

fuck it, tired of this, who needs a drink? 

Last Friday, was unceremoniously and unexpectedly dumped, got a phone call telling me thanks but no thanks from a professional audition in Milwaukee I had felt I had a good shot at, and got some other shit tastic personal news. 

This Friday I've felt like my stomach is ripping itself out and then checked my email to find this:

Dear David,

I am sorry to tell you that we now have a completed MFA class for the fall.  Everyone has accepted and the class is filled to 10, which is our limit.  If anything were to happen with any of our current incoming students, we would be interested in talking with you again, but at this point, things are in place.

Thank you so much for your patience, and your interest in our program.  We enjoyed meeting you and getting to know you a little bit.  Best of luck as you figure out the next steps in your life.

Best regards,
S*****




S****** R. S******, Professor
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Department of Theatre and Drama
Head of the MFA Acting Program
Resident Voice & Text Coach, American Players
  Theatre



I am done.  Oh so looking forward to the b.s. of the farmer's market shift tomorrow.  I pray again that it gets wiped out....

david got dumped today, which is deal-able, and then got the worst email he's ever gotten in his life. 

g-d strike down the farmer's market so i can stay in bed for a week/...